"The following understandings represent ways to clear up the most common misconceptions and
problems that students I have talked with typically encounter.
Understanding #1: The Patterns Are Only Examples!
As Major Mark and I have said over and over again in seminars, the patterns sure are wonderful.
Whether it's the Blammo, the Blow Job, the tried and true "Discovery Channel" or any one of so
many patterns now in the Speed Seduction Þ material, it is important to realize they are only
examples. They are examples of the kinds of communication that open and stimulate a woman to
give her the deep emotional and imaginative experiences that she longs for.
Can the patterns, used word for word as we teach them, work for you? Of course! That's what
they are designed to do!
But it is equally important to use the patterns as a teaching tool for yourself. To give yourself
opportunities to learn about the types of communications that really stimulate women and give
them what they really long for.
Think of the patterns as training wheels; when you first learned to ride a bicycle more than likely
you did it with FOUR wheels, and NOT two. Once you learned the basics of balance and forward
momentum; once you got "the feel" of things, the training wheels were removed and perhaps
after a few falls, off you went!
Same with the patterns you'll find in the courses, videos, workbooks and seminars. They are as
much tools to train yourself as they are methods to open and stimulate women!
Therefore, as you grow in the use of the materials, you will begin to find you adapt bits and
pieces of the patterns in different order and in different ways to fit the individual situation and
unique women you are encountering! In fact, you may well begin to create your own! That is a
sign you are really at a level of great mastery!
Understanding #2: Getting "Caught" Is Bullshit!
One of the more common challenges new students bring up is the fear of "getting caught". Some
students believe that using patterns is somehow like committing some kind of minor crime, like
picking a girl's pocket or stealing her purse.
Remember, you can only fear "getting caught" if you view what you are doing as something
wrongful or damaging.
What you need to understand is this: using patterns is not taking something away from her. You
aren't stealing her wristwatch; you are giving her something wonderful. A chance to experience
feelings and emotions and states of mind/body that very, VERY few people can ever give.
You need to believe that what you are offering to give has value, even if at first you aren't the
smoothest in the delivery of it.
Look at it like this; if she had polio and YOU had the vaccine, would you feel nervous, guilty or
shameful about telling her, "Hey?c'mere?.you really need what I have?".
Well, so many women, no matter how beautiful, are suffering from a disease far worse than
polio. It's the disease of the expected?the hum-drum?the "used to that already". And you, my
friend with the patterns and the understanding of women they give, are the cure for that and
perhaps the only cure she will ever find.
Understanding #3: Gifts, NOT Apologies!
Another incorrect way to view patterns that you are now correcting is that somehow, they are
apologies. Ways to make up for something that you are lacking. Ways of saying, "I'm sorry I don't
have the looks or the body or the youth or the money that you want, but won't you please accept
these pretty words, oh lovely Princess who I don't deserve to be with?"
Well, with THAT kind of attitude, which not only doesn't work but is also inaccurate, NO fancy
words will work for you.
Listen?hear?get this understanding: the patterns are NOT ways of making up for what you lack.
They are ways of offering women what it is THEY truly long for; the deep, powerful, emotional
and imaginative experiences that every woman, deep in the core of her being, really looks and
longs for.
It is not that you are making up for lack of looks, youth, money, status, etc. It is that these things
may be what women are used to wanting, but are NOT what would really deeply fulfill them.
The kinds of communications the patterns offer ARE. What other guys offer is counterfeit;
"funny money" that women are used to accepting, because it's mostly the only thing in
circulation. Speed Seduction gives you the genuine article; the pure gold "coin of the realm"
instantly recognizable in women's souls and hearts as what they've always truly been looking for.
Understanding #4: Feelings Before Words!
So many students have told me: "Ross, the patterns seem so foreign to me. They just don't seem
like they are me."
What's usually going on for these beginners is that the patterns are descriptions of experiences
they themselves have never imagined or had. So naturally, they just seem like they are reciting
empty words with NO meaning. These poor guys are so focused on memorizing the words, they
haven't put any focus into getting some of the feelings.
You see, if you have never had a "peak experience" and haven't even imagined having one, it is
pretty hard to sound convincing or to be captivating talking about it. It's just empty words with
nothing to back it up. Sort of like the Japanese singing duo from the 70's, "Pink Lady". These two
lovely Japanese girls understood not ONE word of English. But they were a big hit on the talk
show circuit, singing English songs which they memorized purely by sound, the joke being how
they obviously did not understand one single syllable of what they were singing!
The solution here, if this is your problem, is to focus, in the beginning, NOT on memorization,
but on imagining for yourself the experiences the patterns describe. Imagine for yourself what it
would be like to feel an incredible connection, a peak experience, the excitement and body
sensations of "parts" of the Blow Job pattern, etc. etc.
As you read through and listen to patterns, imagine having the experience for yourself, and get at
least some of the feelings you want to convey to the women you wish to seduce. Notice I said
"some" of the feeling; if you get all of the feelings as intensely as you wish her to feel them, no
one will have their hands on the wheel! Just get a bit of the feeling; enough to let that feeling
guide the expression of your words.
In this way, the patterns serve to expand who you are. To give you experiences and to cause you
to take notice of experiences that before might have gone [Image] completely by. As you expand
who you are and how you experience your world, the bonus is you not only become better at
patterns, but a more rounded and balanced human being who will naturally be more appealing to
women by virtue of who you are and what you experience as well as by the words you know to
say! Your success with the material will grow as you grow as a man.
Remember this very important principle: In life, you will not get what you want. You will not get
what you "deserve". You will only get what the energies you can create can connect with.
Therefore, learn to create new and different energies for yourself by the experiences the patterns
can give to you.
Understanding #5: The Importance Of Themes
If you want to learn to naturally flow from one pattern to the next it is important to understand
and use themes.
Themes are simply overall ideas that tie patterns together.
Consider the metaphor of a strand of pearls. The theme is the string that holds together the pearls,
which are the patterns.
There are many, many themes which are likely to lead to a successful seduction. Among my
favorites are:
*Different places in the mind *What we are used to wanting; what we THINK we want versus what would truly deeply fulfill
us.
*Permission to explore
*Connections(with each other, with those deeper places in the mind, with our dreams, hopes,
goals, wishes)
*Indulgence
As you go through the patterns in the course, notice how you can tie them together under one or
more of these themes.
One way to look for a theme is to examine a group of ideas or things and see what they overall
have in common. For example, in the following list:
* Disneyland
* Magic Mountain
* Sea World
* Six Flags
What are they all examples of? What do they all have in common? Yes, they are all places for
fun, rides, attractions, crowds. Those are all elements they share. But overall, they all belong to
the category of things called amusement parks.
So when you want to link one pattern with any other, find some overall experience or thing of
which they are all examples.
Understanding #6: The Two Ways In Which Patterns Work
20% of the time when you use patterns, a woman will silently sit there, follow along quietly, go
exactly into the states and experiences you describe and "poof"; you get banged!
80% of the time, however, the patterns work in a more interesting way.
Consider the metaphor of a pearl, once again. How are pearls made? Are they inserted directly
into the oyster?
No; what happens is that a grain of sand gets into the oyster and acts as an irritant. The oyster
forms the pearl around the grain of sand as a result of the stimulation caused by the little bit of
foreign matter.
In the same way, with brighter, more intelligent and ultimately more suggestible and fun women,
the patterns act to stimulate and awaken the deeper structures in her mind that have been laying
dormant, asleep and hibernating, or that have been repressed for personal or social reasons. Thus
the patterns stir her slumbering structures for fantasy, desire, indulgence, surrender, wild
abandon, etc.
What happens when a woman suddenly feels these things awakening? Why, my good man, she
does what women so often love to do. She TALKS!
Now, her talking is a good thing. For she is not only giving you solid information; accurate
descriptions of her own internal models and maps for what the ideal fantasies, dreams,
indulgences and surrendering should be like, but by talking she revivifies and re-awakens all
these slumbering things. So when she talks, LISTEN. Anchor her deeper responses with a touch or a glance or a sound or
preferably all three at the same time and FEED back her own "personal trance words" into the
standard patterns you have memorized! When you use HER own words, remember she not only
doesn't resist, but these words act as signals to further awaken these deeper structures in her
mind. You can then link these structures to you and amplify these things and show her how to
experience them more vividly, profoundly and enjoyably then she ever has before! That is the key
to seduction genius and power!
Understanding #7: How To Practice Pattern Flow
Ideally, you want to be able to flow from any one pattern to any other pattern. Just as in a boxing
match, you want to be able to throw combinations instead of one punch every round, so too once
you have a woman going with Speed Seduction you do NOT want to stop until you get your
outcum? er? ah? OUTCOME.
Therefore, practicing pattern flow is vital!
One good way is to take the last sentence of any one pattern. Then come up with a linking or
transitional phrase like, "It's just like" or "Another thing about that is this" and then the first
sentence of the next pattern you want to use. Write these out in long hand and then, most vitally
important practice saying these in sequence, out loud, so you know you can transition when you
need to.
Do bear in mind that OUT LOUD practice, in the right state, with the right tonality and tempo is
VITAL! The patterns are meant to be spoken, not written, so merely writing them is NOT
sufficient practice!
Understanding #8: Do NOT Lust For Results!
Speed Seduction is not just about how you speak; it is a different way of perceiving the world. As
such, it takes time to approach mastery. That means the key is to immerse yourself in these
learnings. Practice all the time, every day, on as many people as you can. If you reserve your
practice ONLY for beautiful women, you make beautiful women the cause of your skill, and
THAT is a fatal error!
No, I'm not suggestion you get some disgusting ugly monster hot and horny. I am suggesting that
using your skills to make virtually everyone you come in contact with feel much better than
before they met you IS a good thing to aim at!
Above all, be patient with yourself. Learning takes place on many levels, and it can take some
time, some stumbling and some plain fucking it up to get good.
But so what? You learned to walk and learned to read and write and that took plenty of trial and
error. We are talking about a lifetime of results and enjoyment here!
Now, every once in a while, a student will tell me he has memorized every single pattern but
hasn't tried a single one as much as once in the real world! And I must inform you if you are
potentially such a person that you don't really understand Speed Seduction until you've gone out
and done it!
If you aren't willing to stumble a little bit?..to undergo SOME discomfort, however slight, to get
what you want in life, then how will ANY woman with ANY judgement at all find you attractive
no matter WHAT words you say? If you care so little for your own life and happiness that you
won't take a SINGLE step to improve your lot, then nothing I can teach you to SAY will help you
one bit. NO woman would find such a man attractive.
So get up off your lazy, self-pitying, sorry ass, IF this describes you, and make a vow to work at
making the material work. If you want everything handed to you on a platter, you are going to
wait forever and get nowhere! USE THE ENCLOSED MATERIALS, GROW UP, and be willing
to be an adult who will fight for what he wants instead of a spoiled child who waits for Mommy
or Daddy to give it to him without cost! We've blazed a trail and smoothed the path and lit it up
and marked it clearly; if there is an occasional pebble you have to step on, so fucking what! Get
your ass moving!"
Update. The various levels of NLS or Neuro Linguistic Seduction (which is what patterning
seems to be called on Mindlist). By Zachary D. Marcy, Mindlist:
"I have been practicing NLP for about 3 years now. I have just stepped into my own since being
on this list and being a student of Kenrick Cleveland. In this time period I have ran into an
abundance of guys that are at different skill levels and stages in their lives with NLS. I wrote
down several of them (including the ones I have experienced which seems to be all but a few).
See if you can identify yourself with any or several of these stages and also write down what you
think you can do to improve on them. I will try to give an example of each as I type them, but I
don't want to be here all night so I may just ask you to ... USE YOUR MIND... to REALIZE...
which stage I am refering too. Now, without furthur ado:
Excited about NLS but Lost - Remember when you first saw all the advertising about SS and
NLS? How-open eyed you were and how all of your ideas for what you could do with this stuff
ran wild.
Skeptical about NLS but Lost - Remember after you read your first pattern and wondered "how
in the HELL could I start to talk to a woman like this?"
Diligent about NLS but Lost - You can't figure out why you keep doing these exercises about
mirroring and matching etc... but you do... This is a GOOD stage, it makes the success worth it!
Computer Success but Lost IRL (in real life) - I didn't go through this much. Alex Akselrod
knows about this stage...ask him about it.
Telephone and computer success but lost IRL - I did go through a success on telepersonals stage
where I was too chicken shit to take in patterns in real life.
Stuck on one line and one pattern (not flexible) - this has a ton to do with memorizing patterns!
Some Success but not repeatable - You have some how managed to get a few success' using a
few ideas and patterns and just haven't been able to repeat them. This usually comes when you
are being selective and you aren't that flexible yet.
Some Success and ONLY repeatable with some types of women - most of the time the success
was dumb luck. I use to have this problem a bit too. I managed to get a few patterns and ideas
that worked well with certain types of women and I just used those and that was it. This was the
second stage I expereinced with NLS. The first was no 1 and I next went to this stage. It was hard
for me too. I ran into a rut where I didn't meet women that fit this type that I had originally set in
my mind and I almost threw NLS out of the door. I am glad I was persistent with it!
Playing the odds game - you approach 10 women and get one. I was always too picky from the
start to do this. Now, understand, this is GREAT practice.
Snagging Many (approaching about a 60-70% success rate) - remember SUCCESS is defined by
YOUR desired outcome! Not my definition of success!
Doing Great and Being Picky (going for types) - THIS is where was about 3 months ago. I liked
this stage in my NLS career!
Just Flat out picky and not using NLS on any women unless they fit your criteria - here is where I
am currently at. It's odd, I figured I would like this stage! I really don't ... I am going back to
being a huge flirt again!
Find and NLS the Girlfriend and yet you cheat on her - This is a saftey girl... you can do this with
just dating a girl too. Unfortunantly, I went through this phaze a while ago.
Find the GirlFriend type and get her - I belive this is what I am currently searching for... where
the hell is she?
Find the ONE to marry - DO WHAT? OK OK... so I have heard several success stories similar to
this one. I am young and have a full life ahead of me. I am not looking into this... YET.
Using NLS to make your marriage work or make it better - ask someone who knows.
Using NLS to make your relationship better - It worked for me and my ex. It also made me
realize who I didn't want to be with.
Realize that these ARE NOT in any order per se. Most of them are just various stages on
relatively the same plain. This may give you goals to strive for or just idea of where you are
currently at. It might give you application that you haven't realized before... but you realize your
application now."
