An example of verbal pacing and demonstrating understanding to increase rapport (see
"Mirroring" for an explanation and examples of physical pacing). Speed Seduction newsletter,
Ross Jeffries:
"VERBALLY PACE THE ONGOING SITUATION - I cannot emphasize enough the power of
this VERY important rule. Basically, what it means is to verbally describe and therefore
ACKNOWLEDGE the situation and reality that she finds herself in with you.
An example:
Let's say you're a lucky s.o.b., and, like me, you live right by a jog or bike path. Women are
constantly skating, blading, running or biking right by you. And let's say further, that, you, like
me, are a lazy son of a bitch and have no intention of moving your own fat ass via bike, blades,
running etc. What do you have to do in order to meet and talk to these women? Well, Buckwheat,
what ya first and foremost gotta do is... Ya Gotta Get 'Em To Stop!
With that in mind, I have actually USED the following approach and ACTUALLY gotten it to
work! I merely wait for a nice looking young lady to come jogging, blading or biking toward my
stationary position along the path. I then jump out, hold out a hand and in my most authoratative
tone yell: STOP! (This is actually pretty funny to watch. I have never had them NOT stop!)
I then say something like, "If you're that easily stopped... you need a boyfriend who will
MOTIVATE you! My name is Ross".
In the example above, where I've just jumped in her path and yelled "STOP", what do you think
this girl is thinking? It's a safe bet it is something along the lines of "this guy is fuckin' nuts"! So I
better USE that instead of ignoring it.
I say something along these lines, "Look, I know this is a totally nutty way to meet someone
(pacing her ongoing belief)... but I knew if I didn't do SOMETHING to stop you, we'd never get
a chance to talk (also completely true... a truism with which she cannot argue) and maybe see
how much WE COULD REALLY LIKE EACH OTHER (embedded suggestion)".
The principle here is VERY important. And that is... BY DEMONSTRATING
UNDERSTANDING, YOU INCREASE RAPPORT!
Now, let me make something critically clear: I did NOT say demonstrate that YOU are
"understanding, sensitive" etc. I said demonstrate "understanding"... of her ongoing reality and
situation. Not in the sense of apologizing or excusing but simply that you are alert and AWARE
of who she is and what she is experiencing.
From here, what I will do is say, "Look...I don't have a lot of time here (a bit of a "takeaway"
which always makes you more appealing). And it's obvious that you are on the move too. But if
you'll sit with me for 5 minutes, I'll analyze your handwriting. You'll get to learn secrets about
yourself your best friends don't know and I'll get to find out if YOU are the kind of person I want
to know better (here I'm structuring an opportunity and offering her a challenge)."
"Mirroring" for an explanation and examples of physical pacing). Speed Seduction newsletter,
Ross Jeffries:
"VERBALLY PACE THE ONGOING SITUATION - I cannot emphasize enough the power of
this VERY important rule. Basically, what it means is to verbally describe and therefore
ACKNOWLEDGE the situation and reality that she finds herself in with you.
An example:
Let's say you're a lucky s.o.b., and, like me, you live right by a jog or bike path. Women are
constantly skating, blading, running or biking right by you. And let's say further, that, you, like
me, are a lazy son of a bitch and have no intention of moving your own fat ass via bike, blades,
running etc. What do you have to do in order to meet and talk to these women? Well, Buckwheat,
what ya first and foremost gotta do is... Ya Gotta Get 'Em To Stop!
With that in mind, I have actually USED the following approach and ACTUALLY gotten it to
work! I merely wait for a nice looking young lady to come jogging, blading or biking toward my
stationary position along the path. I then jump out, hold out a hand and in my most authoratative
tone yell: STOP! (This is actually pretty funny to watch. I have never had them NOT stop!)
I then say something like, "If you're that easily stopped... you need a boyfriend who will
MOTIVATE you! My name is Ross".
In the example above, where I've just jumped in her path and yelled "STOP", what do you think
this girl is thinking? It's a safe bet it is something along the lines of "this guy is fuckin' nuts"! So I
better USE that instead of ignoring it.
I say something along these lines, "Look, I know this is a totally nutty way to meet someone
(pacing her ongoing belief)... but I knew if I didn't do SOMETHING to stop you, we'd never get
a chance to talk (also completely true... a truism with which she cannot argue) and maybe see
how much WE COULD REALLY LIKE EACH OTHER (embedded suggestion)".
The principle here is VERY important. And that is... BY DEMONSTRATING
UNDERSTANDING, YOU INCREASE RAPPORT!
Now, let me make something critically clear: I did NOT say demonstrate that YOU are
"understanding, sensitive" etc. I said demonstrate "understanding"... of her ongoing reality and
situation. Not in the sense of apologizing or excusing but simply that you are alert and AWARE
of who she is and what she is experiencing.
From here, what I will do is say, "Look...I don't have a lot of time here (a bit of a "takeaway"
which always makes you more appealing). And it's obvious that you are on the move too. But if
you'll sit with me for 5 minutes, I'll analyze your handwriting. You'll get to learn secrets about
yourself your best friends don't know and I'll get to find out if YOU are the kind of person I want
to know better (here I'm structuring an opportunity and offering her a challenge)."
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